‘If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God I’ll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth’ by Meghan Ross

If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God I’ll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth is a short film adapted from the hilarious and heartwarming humor essay written by Toronto-based comedian Sophie Kohn (CBC Comedy), which was featured in The New Yorker’s Daily Shouts column in June, 2018. It features a monologue from a man who appears first as a stereotypical, overprotective patriarchal figure, but through clever turn of phrase, is quickly revealed to be a progressive, boundary-respecting father of a teenage daughter named Raina.

Nick Kush: We can all agree Jon Hamm makes everything better, right? His narration work elevates If You Ever Hurt My Daughter’s excellent writing and ability to turn a phrase into a short that hilariously sends up the toxic patriarchy. All in all, it adds up to an experience that is probably WAY better than your first encounter with your girlfriend’s father.

Director’s Bio

Meghan Ross is a writer, producer, director, and comedian from New York, now living in Austin with her dog, Dreidel. She directed, produced, and wrote the dark comedy short film An Uncomfortable Woman which was nominated for Best Women Short at Indie Short Fest and Best Director at Portland Comedy Film Festival. She hosts and produces the all-women and non-binary late night show That Time of the Month which has been featured in New York Magazine’s Vulture, Time Out New York, Austin’s NPR station KUT, and partnered with Amazon Studios film Late Night starring Mindy Kaling. Her writing has appeared in VICE’s Broadly, Reductress, The Toast, and IFC, and she previously worked for VICELAND and SundanceTV.

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