Every month has some stinkers at the theaters, and May 2017 is no exception. From pirates that have overstayed their welcome to Amy Schumer running around and pleading with the audience to laugh at her jokes, there was a lot schlock that many moviegoers had to avoid. Luckily, I went to the theaters and sat through it so that you don’t have to. Below are the worst movies of May 2017:
#3: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
The newest Pirates film is by no means unwatchable. It once again has that lovely score that has been tied to the franchise and has Javier Bardem as an undead ghost pirate which is never a bad thing.
However, Pirates 5 fails to do anything new or inventive with the formula that sorely needs a facelift. We have yet again another ghost pirate captain that wants revenge for something that Jack Sparrow did to him in the past, forcing Jack to reassemble his crew and and get his ship back in order defeat the foe.
Dead Men Tell No Tales is further proof that Johnny Depp has quit trying to give Jack Sparrow any type of humanity which made him so lovable in The Curse of the Black Pearl. Rather, Depp just stumbles around without much conviction and tries to crack one-liners that seldom land. If you were to remove Jack from the story, Pirates 5 would be largely unchanged.
Rotten Tomatoes Critics’ Score: 29%
Metacritic Score: 39
MovieBabble Score: C-
*To read my full review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, please click here.
If there’s one word to describe Snatched it’s probably “painful.”
There’s certainly some laughs in this film, but they all come from side characters that have limited screen time. Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn, on the other hand, get on your nerves shortly after the opening credits finish. In a buddy movie such as Snatched, the chemistry between the two leads has to work or else the movie will be largely annoying. Snatched unfortunately passes that threshold.
In comedies such as this one, there’s a tendency to continue with a joke or gag long after it has stopped being funny. This trait is evident throughout the film with drawn out scenes that are suppose to play for laughs but become awkward and off-putting. It’s clear that the script was underwritten in hopes that an established comedic presences such as Schumer could elevate the material with funny improv. Schumer, however, fails to hold up her end of the bargain in this scenario.
Rotten Tomatoes Critics’ Score: 36%
Metacritic Score: 45
MovieBabble Score: D+
*To read my full review of Snatched, please click here.
After 21 Jump Street burst onto the scene, it was only a matter of time before more 80’s television shows were ironically adapted into a feature film with an R-rating. Baywatch attempted to be the first film since 21 Jump Street to be successful with that type of style. The problem is that Baywatch forgot to tell jokes.
Other than Zac Efron’s abs, there’s practically nothing here to enjoy. Unlike many bad comedies, there’s a clear bond between all the beautiful actors on set. Each of them obviously enjoyed working with each other. However, it’s what these actors say that’s the problem.
Like 21 Jump Street, there’s plenty of dick jokes and racy humor. However, Baywatch fails to give these jokes any type of cleverness or nuance. Many jokes just expect that the shear presence of a dick will make the audience laugh.
The most damning point against Baywatch may be that it had a lot of promise leading up to the film. Many saw the cast that included Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, and Alexandra Daddario and immediately got excited.
Baywatch will most likely end up on MovieBabble’s list of the worst films of 2017.
Rotten Tomatoes Critics’ Score: 20%
Metacritic Score: 38
MovieBabble Score: D-
*To read my full review of Baywatch, please click here.
Thanks for reading! What are your worst movies of May 2017? Comment down below with your thoughts.
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I’m glad I skipped Baywatch and Snatch. I did enjoy Pirates a bit more though.
I never bothered with “Baywatch”, since I knew it was going to suck just from the trailers and commercials. Besides, mysteries were more in line with Baywatch’s spin-off show, “Baywatch Nights”. That’s the true sign that something was wrong here, not just the fact that Zac Efron is willing to waste any talent he may have towards directionless comedies.
I really wish Efron would find a new agent, he needs to be in some movies that actually show his talent.
Amen, brother! Maybe he also needs to get away from comedies for a while and try his hand at other genres before attempting another chuckle flick.
I did see where he signed on to play Ted Bundy in an upcoming film so we might be getting our departure very soon!
Our lists here are a little different (Baywatch missed the cut by one!) My Bottom three May movies: #3 Snatched; #2 King Arthur: Legend of the Sword; #1 Diary of a Winpy Kid: The Long Haul!
I totally missed Diary of a Wimpy Kid because it looked just awful lol. Sometimes even critics need to have standards! lol
With the exception of Pirates of the Caribean I will pass on all of these. Baywatch looks exceptionally horrid, and pretty much as nothing to do with the original source material. Shame really, as it really would have had some potential if it had been handled right.
I wasn’t so worried with them straying from the source material since Baywatch was so campy and silly but they just brought zero jokes with it lol