Dissecting Sam Levinson’s Kraft

STEP ZERO – GATHER INGREDIENTS

To make Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, you will need the following ingredients:
– 1 box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (Macaroni Noodles and Cheese Sauce Mix)
– 6 cups of water
– 4 tablespoons of margarine or butter
– 1/4 cup of milk

Read the article by Angelica Jade Bastién on Sam Levinson’s Malcolm & Marie here.

STEP ONE – BOIL WATER

To start, fill a pot with 6 cups of water, and bring it to a boil over a stove

Read the article by Kyndall Cunningham on Sam Levinson’s Malcolm & Marie here.

STEP TWO – ADD NOODLES

Once the water is boiling, stir in the Macaroni Noodles, making sure none stick to the bottom of the pot

Read the article by Rendy Jones on Sam Levinson’s Malcolm & Marie here.

STEP THREE – COOK NOODLES

Cook the Macaroni Noodles over medium-high heat for 8-10 minutes or until tender, stirring regularly

Read the article by Robert Daniels on Sam Levinson’s Malcolm & Marie here.

STEP FOUR – PREP SAUCE

While the Macaroni Noodles cook, cut 4 tablespoons of margarine/butter into 1 tablespoon chunks, and measure out 1/4 cup of milk

Read the article by Soraya Nadia McDonald on Sam Levinson’s Malcolm & Marie here.

STEP FIVE – DRAIN NOODLES

Drain/Strain out the water over a sink and return the Macaroni Noodles to the pot without rinsing, and place the pot off the heat

Read the article by Nate Jones that interviews Katie Walsh here.

STEP SIX – ADD SAUCE

Add the margarine/butter, milk, and contents of the Cheese Sauce Mix packet to the pot, and mix until homogeneous

There was a version of this piece that was 3500 words long, where I picked apart dozens of sickening aspects of the script and disgusting directorial choices in Malcolm & Marie. I almost turned in that piece. But in the end, this film isn’t worth my words, and I’m probably not the right person to address the many problems this film has anyway.

Do better, Sam. Or you know what? Just stop altogether. People deserve more than what you have to offer.

STEP SEVEN – SERVE

Scoop your Kraft Macaroni & Cheese into a bowl or onto a plate and enjoy it with the utensil of your choice, as long as you don’t STAB IT with a fork, you MONSTER??

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