‘Ghosted’ Just Can’t Be Real…Can It?

Apple TV+ offers up an action/rom-com that works as neither.

by Patricia Henderson

When the poster for Ghosted was first released, some, including MovieBabble’s own Nick Kush, commented that it didn’t look like a real movie. The poster came straight from the uncanny valley, and looked like it was A.I. generated. Now that I’ve seen the movie, I can tell you the poster is actually a fitting representation. The whole movie looks and feels… fake. From the lack of chemistry between the leads, to’ bad wigs, to baffling song choices, it’s just a mess.

The Story

Cole (Chris Evans) is a farmer and aspiring writer. He meets Sadie (Ana de Armas) at a farmer’s market. They argue about plants for way too long, which, according to other characters in the movie, means they have mind-blowing chemistry. Okay.

After a Before-Sunrise-style day-long date, Sadie doesn’t return any of Cole’s multiple texts (and emojis). Hence the title, Ghosted. Cole eventually remembers he left his asthma inhaler in Sadie’s purse, and realizes he can track her down via the AirTag he has attached to said inhaler. You know, as one does in a movie that’s basically one long ad for Apple products.

After discovering Sadie’s whereabouts, Cole decides to hop on a plane and go after her. After arriving, Cole finds himself caught up in way more than he bargained for.

To Be Honest…

I didn’t go into this movie with the highest of hopes. Between the poster and the trailers, it hadn’t inspired the most confidence. However, I was almost taken aback by the lack of quality. I actually fell asleep during my first watching and had to go back and finish it later. That’s how compelling of a movie we’re getting, here.

What Tension?

Our leads have little to no chemistry, and yet, every few minutes, a character will comment on the sexual tension, or tell them to, “get a room.” It makes it all the more noticeable that there is no sexual tension to break. I don’t understand why the script made so many mentions of something that was not supported by the rest of the story. It was distracting, and added nothing to the experience.

Those Wigs

What on Earth was on Ana de Armas’ head in this movie? I thought maybe it would tie into Sadie’s line of work, or something. I fully expected a scene where she gets home and removes her wig. No such scene came, which means we’re supposed to take that hair seriously. I’m sorry, but I can’t. Those were the wiggiest wigs this side of Party City. The part where Cole and Sadie race up the stairs was especially laughable.

Things That Worked

To be fair, there are a few intentional chuckles along the way, too. Cole dragging his suitcase around during a fight sequence, for instance. There’s also a lie detector scene later on that works pretty well, until a running gag gets run into the ground.

Without spoiling who they are and what they do in the movie, there are also some fun cameos sprinkled throughout. Then there is Cole’s sister Mattie (Lizzie Broadway), who served as the singular voice of reason, and deserved more screen time.

What Is Up With This Soundtrack?

One of the most distracting elements of Ghosted has to be its jarring needle drops. The songs chosen make little to no sense in the context of the scenes in which they’re used. For example, The Knack’s “My Sharona” during an action sequence involving a bus. Mark Ronson’s “Uptown Funk” is used near the end of the film for no apparent reason. In fact, I’d say the only choice that makes any sense at all is the use of The Beatles’ “Taxman.”

Leveque, the Big Bad

I will level with you, Adrien Brody is the sole reason I was willing to watch this movie to begin with. Unfortunately, his presence wasn’t enough to make it a good time. His big bad villain character, Leveque, was poorly fleshed out in general (and that accent wasn’t very French). However, I don’t think the blame lands on Brody’s shoulders alone. When given good material and good direction (with Wes Anderson, for instance), he is brilliant. For that matter, I’ve seen most of the Ghosted cast perform better in other roles.

Too Many Cooks

I think there were just too many writers involved in this project (four to be exact), so the story suffered. It almost feels like four different stories from four different genres, cut and pasted into a single document. It’s dizzying, to say the least. It really does feel like a script that was generated by some app. It lacks the element of real human emotion. It’s robotic. In a movie that is essentially about a relationship, that’s not what one wants.

To Be Fair

As you may have gathered by now, I didn’t really care for Ghosted very much. However, it should be noted that this movie is not terrible. It’s not what I would call a good movie, but I have definitely seen a lot worse. It has some redeeming qualities. I would say our lead actors both gave decent performances individually, they just didn’t mesh convincingly as a couple. They both held their own in action scenes, despite some of those scenes being rather ridiculous (like the bus sequence). There are some laughs to be had, and a little bit of charm here and there.

At the end of the day, Ghosted had the potential to be a lot better than it was. With this cast, it could have been a slam dunk. A tighter script, better direction, better wigs, fewer Apple products, and who’s to say what we might have ended up with. It’s a shame we’ll never know.

Follow MovieBabble on Twitter @MovieBabble_ and Patricia Henderson @phendersonwrite

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1 comment

Nick Kush April 25, 2023 - 8:34 pm

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