Worst Movies of March 2018

Like any other month, anyone that saw enough films in March was bound to run into some rather unpleasant theater experiences.  From big-budget films that didn’t hit the mark to meme-worthy animated features, there was something to detest for every moviegoing audience you could possible imagine.  Below are the worst movies of March 2018 as chosen by yours truly:

#3: A Wrinkle in Time

Ava DuVernay made a name for herself after completing the masterfully directed Selma back in 2014.  Soon after, Disney made headlines by signing DuVernay to helm an updated version of A Wrinkle in Time, making her the first woman of color to direct a movie with a budget over $100 million.  It’s a shame, however, that the movie itself wasn’t very good, as it put a damper on most of the revolutionary conversation surrounding the film.

There hasn’t been any reports of Disney messing with the final product that we all saw in theaters, but it certainly feels like that was the case.  Scenes feel rushed and truncated, never providing the emotional resonance that DuVernay would have hoped.  A Wrinkle in Time feels like a movie with a new story in a world that we’ve already discovered as an audience in a previous films.  None of the scenery or the worlds are given much depth — you merely have the bare essentials to get through the movie with the lowest baseline of understanding.

I wish that there was a more concrete, critical way of describing this film, but everything is just off.  Characters seem a little confused amid loads of CGI, and interactions fail to create a certain cinematic cadence that is pleasing.  It’s an unwieldy mess of a film.

*To read my full review of A Wrinkle in Time, please click here.

image via The New York Times

#2: Sherlock Gnomes

Sherlock Gnomes is not the pile of garbage that many thought it would become, but it’s still nothing special.

Aside from clever animation that helps to visually represent the titular character’s thought process, the only element that individuals might find amusing is the occasional off-hand remark to Sherlock Holmes’ rich history.

Honestly, I might have preferred that Sherlock Gnomes was a trash heap.  Instead, the final product was aggressively bland — it has nothing to sink your teeth into as a viewer.  It’s one of the biggest bundles of nothing to come to theaters in a very long time, and you’ll most likely forget it as soon as it’s over — I know I have!

*To read my full review of Sherlock Gnomes, please click here.

image via Variety

#1: The Strangers: Prey at Night

Like I said in my full review of the film, The Strangers: Prey at Night is over before you can ever truly hate it, but it still has some serious flaws.

If you’ve ever seen a slasher film in your lifetime, you would know that Prey at Night is built off of clichés, creating dumb characters that stumble their way into trouble and never find a way out of it.  You know it’s problem when you’re rooting for the masked killers to keep on killing!  One could say there’s something to enjoy in this sense from an ironic perspective, but the kills are never inventive enough to become invested.

What’s truly bizarre about The Strangers 2 is its homage to 80’s slasher films with the addition of a synth score and neon color palette.  Director Johannes Roberts clearly loves John Carpenter, but the homage doesn’t make sense within the story itself; it’s an empty nod to past generations that is ultimately a soulless marketing attempt.

*To read my full review of The Strangers: Prey at Night, please click here.

image via Everett Herald

In Case You (or I) Missed It

The three films above were the worst of the worst in my humble opinion, but there were some other films that failed to meet expectations — or were just nauseating from the start.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Uprising coasts off of the likability of John Boyega as he has a blasé attitude to just about everything around him, acting circles around his male counterpart Scott Eastwood.

However, Pacific Rim: Uprising can’t help but feel like a movie that is heavily pandering to overseas markets, going out of its way to position itself for more installments down the road instead of injecting heart and a sense of wonder into the plot and characters like Guillermo Del Toro did with the original Pacific Rim.

Tomb Raider

Warner Bros.’ reboot of the popular video game franchise definitely isn’t atrocious, but it’s one of the more paint-by-numbers films to come to theaters in quite a long time.  Alicia Vikander is powerful as Lara Croft, showing all the physicality and grit that you would want from the role — while sporting an eight pack that puts most professional athletes to shame.  It’s just too bad that the story around her is so bland and unremarkable in every way.

image via Variety

Red Sparrow

Similar to Tomb Raider, Red Sparrow has a fierce performance at its core that is surrounded by a fairly straightforward film.  Like her or not, Jennifer Lawrence completely goes for it as an assassin/spy that uses everything at her disposal to get necessary information.

And yet, the plot disregards the sexual ideas that are propped up in the first act for a spy caper that is too long and too violent for its own good.  Red Sparrow is a punishing experience, and the rewards for sticking out its 141-minute runtime are simply not worth the effort.

Thank you for reading! What are your thoughts on the worst movies of March 2018? Do you think we missed any? Comment down below!

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