Like any other month, anyone that saw enough films in March was bound to run into some rather unpleasant theater experiences. From big-budget films that didn’t hit the mark to meme-worthy animated features, there was something to detest for every moviegoing audience you could possible imagine. Below are the worst movies of March 2018 as chosen by yours truly:
#3: A Wrinkle in Time
Ava DuVernay made a name for herself after completing the masterfully directed Selma back in 2014. Soon after, Disney made headlines by signing DuVernay to helm an updated version of A Wrinkle in Time, making her the first woman of color to direct a movie with a budget over $100 million. It’s a shame, however, that the movie itself wasn’t very good, as it put a damper on most of the revolutionary conversation surrounding the film.
There hasn’t been any reports of Disney messing with the final product that we all saw in theaters, but it certainly feels like that was the case. Scenes feel rushed and truncated, never providing the emotional resonance that DuVernay would have hoped. A Wrinkle in Time feels like a movie with a new story in a world that we’ve already discovered as an audience in a previous films. None of the scenery or the worlds are given much depth — you merely have the bare essentials to get through the movie with the lowest baseline of understanding.
I wish that there was a more concrete, critical way of describing this film, but everything is just off. Characters seem a little confused amid loads of CGI, and interactions fail to create a certain cinematic cadence that is pleasing. It’s an unwieldy mess of a film.
*To read my full review of A Wrinkle in Time, please click here.
#2: Sherlock Gnomes
Sherlock Gnomes is not the pile of garbage that many thought it would become, but it’s still nothing special.
Aside from clever animation that helps to visually represent the titular character’s thought process, the only element that individuals might find amusing is the occasional off-hand remark to Sherlock Holmes’ rich history.
Honestly, I might have preferred that Sherlock Gnomes was a trash heap. Instead, the final product was aggressively bland — it has nothing to sink your teeth into as a viewer. It’s one of the biggest bundles of nothing to come to theaters in a very long time, and you’ll most likely forget it as soon as it’s over — I know I have!
*To read my full review of Sherlock Gnomes, please click here.
#1: The Strangers: Prey at Night
Like I said in my full review of the film, The Strangers: Prey at Night is over before you can ever truly hate it, but it still has some serious flaws.
If you’ve ever seen a slasher film in your lifetime, you would know that Prey at Night is built off of clichés, creating dumb characters that stumble their way into trouble and never find a way out of it. You know it’s problem when you’re rooting for the masked killers to keep on killing! One could say there’s something to enjoy in this sense from an ironic perspective, but the kills are never inventive enough to become invested.
What’s truly bizarre about The Strangers 2 is its homage to 80’s slasher films with the addition of a synth score and neon color palette. Director Johannes Roberts clearly loves John Carpenter, but the homage doesn’t make sense within the story itself; it’s an empty nod to past generations that is ultimately a soulless marketing attempt.
*To read my full review of The Strangers: Prey at Night, please click here.
In Case You (or I) Missed It
The three films above were the worst of the worst in my humble opinion, but there were some other films that failed to meet expectations — or were just nauseating from the start.
Pacific Rim: Uprising
Uprising coasts off of the likability of John Boyega as he has a blasé attitude to just about everything around him, acting circles around his male counterpart Scott Eastwood.
However, Pacific Rim: Uprising can’t help but feel like a movie that is heavily pandering to overseas markets, going out of its way to position itself for more installments down the road instead of injecting heart and a sense of wonder into the plot and characters like Guillermo Del Toro did with the original Pacific Rim.
Warner Bros.’ reboot of the popular video game franchise definitely isn’t atrocious, but it’s one of the more paint-by-numbers films to come to theaters in quite a long time. Alicia Vikander is powerful as Lara Croft, showing all the physicality and grit that you would want from the role — while sporting an eight pack that puts most professional athletes to shame. It’s just too bad that the story around her is so bland and unremarkable in every way.
Similar to Tomb Raider, Red Sparrow has a fierce performance at its core that is surrounded by a fairly straightforward film. Like her or not, Jennifer Lawrence completely goes for it as an assassin/spy that uses everything at her disposal to get necessary information.
And yet, the plot disregards the sexual ideas that are propped up in the first act for a spy caper that is too long and too violent for its own good. Red Sparrow is a punishing experience, and the rewards for sticking out its 141-minute runtime are simply not worth the effort.
Thank you for reading! What are your thoughts on the worst movies of March 2018? Do you think we missed any? Comment down below!
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Looks like a bunch 1.50 pick-ups at the Family Video….that “Wrinkle In Time” looked terribly written….
And it WAS terribly written! Lol
It’s getting to the point that one can’t trust a major studio release….
I’m in that boat! The films I’m most dying to see is You Were Never Really Here and Sorry to Bother You which are properties that would never have been touched by major studios.
exactly…..I collect IFC,Film Moment and A24 titles first and foremost
A24 is my favorite studio at the moment!
Between IFC and A24,there are a LOT of great films that need to be seen but are sadly overlooked. I watched “The Monster” last month and it was amazing
That’s one I need to add to the list!
Personally, i would say A Wrinkle in Time. Was such a lousy and disappointing film that didn’t live up to its hype.
I hear ya man! Personally I just thought it’s intentions were too sweet and endearing to fully condemn. But I like I said, it was still pretty terrible! Lol
Thanks for the heads up
happy to help!
This one is closer to my own list than our top movies of March. Though A Wrinkle in Time was low on the list, it wasn’t as bad as a few others, including Red Sparrow. Neither made my list though, which looks a little something like this: 3) 7 Days in Entebbe (yup; I’m one of those who didn’t care for this one!); 2) Sherlock Gnomes (at least we agree on this one!); 1) Hurricane Heist (pretty much for the same reasons as Gnomes – it was so generic, there just wasn’t anything special to latch onto).
Hurricane Heist is another film I missed out on! March was pretty hectic for me, hopefully I can circle back and watch it. Who knows, it might end up on my worst of the year list lol
March was pretty hectic at the movieplex… every month has a lot of independent films, but March seemed to have an overabundance of wide releases… nine movies went wide in a matter of two weeks. Even the most ardent critics were going to let some slip throughh the cracks!
Very true! Ohh well, maybe I’ll check up eventually when everything hits HBO lol
In the case of movies based on books, the book will ALWAYS be better than the movie. “A Wrinkle In Time” was good – I’m still glad I ventured to the cinema to see it — but it was lacking…something. The magic, the wonder, the fun of getting to know the characters and following them on their adventure – a lot of it just didn’t get transferred well enough from the page to the screen.
I don’t like to deal in absolutes like that, but the book being better is definitely the case most of the time!
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