Home Analysis Harry Potter Should Have Died in ‘The Sorcerer’s Stone’

Harry Potter Should Have Died in ‘The Sorcerer’s Stone’

by Kali Tuttle
Harry Potter

I absolutely adore the Harry Potter movies, especially the first few. They are what I believe fantasy should be; it should take you into another world entirely. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint are a big part of what makes the Harry Potter series so much fun. Nearly everything about the Harry Potter franchise is near perfect. But Harry is stupid and should’ve died many times even in just the first movie.

These past few weeks, I’ve been binge-watching the Harry Potter series and keeping careful note of all the times Harry Potter could’ve and should’ve died. Harry survives a surprising amount in just his first year at Hogwarts. Here are some of the moments that Harry should’ve died in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001). (Yes, I am American. Yes, that is how I refer to the first installment of the franchise.)

Harry Potter and the Headmaster who Enabled Abusive Parents

  • You can’t tell me that Hagrid wouldn’t have dropped baby Harry when he was delivering him to Dumbledore and McGonagall at Privet Drive. Also, he could’ve been stolen off the porch since they didn’t bother to ring the doorbell or knock or anything.
  • Harry could’ve died at the abusive hands of the Dursleys but Dumbledore didn’t care.
  • Harry Potter, the Boy Who Died from a Thousand Paper Cuts Given to Him by All the Acceptance Letters the School Sent Him.
  • That Gringotts’ cart was not safe and Harry 100% would’ve fallen off and died.
  • Not only Harry, but every young wizard there probably would’ve killed themselves with some random spell by the end of the first year.

Harry Potter and the Boy Who Had Never Played Sports before so Quidditch May Have Been a Bit Extreme

  • Harry is always eating candy. He is going to get diabetes and die.
  • Moving staircases and 11-year-olds? Someone is going to fall and die.
  • An owl would have dropped a package on Harry’s head and he would die.
  • Harry has a hard time staying on his broom and would’ve died eventually. Or ran into a pillar. Or a Bludger would’ve hit him because he has no situational awareness.
  • Cerberus the three-headed dog would most definitely eat Harry and his friends.

Harry Potter and the Really Messed Up School

  • Ron and Harry really screwed up by insulting Hermione. Hermione was so knowledgeable of spells that she could’ve straight up pulled a Carrie and murdered them.
  • Hagrid kills Harry because he knows too much.
  • I would not have blinked an eye if Filch killed him for no reason whatsoever.
  • The school sent him…to the dangerous forest…for detention. He could’ve been murdered by anything in the forest. A centaur could’ve crushed him. Voldemort could’ve killed him. Even Hagrid could’ve mistaken him for something dangerous and nailed Harry with the crossbow. Or Fang could’ve torn Harry apart. You know, normal detention things.
  • Harry thinks his scar is causing him migraines but it’s actually undiagnosed spinal meningitis and he dies.

Harry Potter and Dumbledore Has No Bias Toward Gryffindor At All. Nope. None.

  • Professor McGonagall kills Harry because he knows too much.
  • To beat Devil’s Snare, Harry must relax. Except he cannot because he is always anxious and he and Ron are strangled to death.
  • Ron is 11-years-old and somehow a master at chess even though he’s a complete dolt at everything else? No. Ron would’ve made a wrong move and killed Harry. If not that, Harry would’ve been hit by a chunk of a chess piece and just died there on the chessboard while Ron looked stupidly on from his horsey. Or Ron told him to go to a certain space and Harry goes to the wrong space and he is killed for his idiocy.
  • Harry runs straight into the fire surrounding him and Voldemort because he is the Boy Who Lived so he believes nothing can harm him.
  • Slytherin House curb stomps Harry for stealing the House Cup from them with bogus points.

The True Hero of this Film is…

Hermione. Hermione is the only one who actually did any studying. She was the only one who knew how to get past certain things. And she was the only one who paid attention to anything in class. If Harry didn’t feel the need to be the hero, she could’ve defeated Voldemort single-handedly.

Hermione really got the short end of the stick in this one. Harry and Ron make fun of her, as does every other kid in the school. I would’ve loved to see her get more of a redemption arc. Or at least have the scene in the book with the potions that would have shown her intellect a lot better.

Alas, Harry Potter must be the hero. Even though he should’ve died a grand total of 20 times. Just Hogwarts things!


Follow MovieBabble on Twitter @MovieBabble_ and Kali @tuttle_kali

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9 comments

Patricia Henderson March 15, 2020 - 2:09 am

“Harry thinks his scar is causing him migraines but it’s actually undiagnosed spinal meningitis and he dies.”

This is fantastic!

Reply
Kali Tuttle March 16, 2020 - 5:32 pm

Hahaha I don’t know why but spinal meningitis was one of my childhood fears so I just decided to include that in this article.

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Nick Kush January 12, 2020 - 10:33 am

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