Chris van Dijk

Hey kids! Remember Tim Allen, the star of Jungle 2 Jungle? Remember those brilliant Santa Clause movies? Well, you’re in luck because Tim Allen’s Santa is back in an exclusive new miniseries streaming exclusively on…

It’s the end of the road. Throughout the previous seven episodes, we’ve dealt with evil paintings, witches, extraterrestrials, and lots of rats. What’s this final episode going to treat us with? The answer: birds. No,…

I have seen things that will make you shit your mind, Kemosabe. Imagine Peter Weller sitting at the head of a round table with long white hair, draped in a silk Japanese robe, snorting cocaine,…

Catherine Hardwicke wouldn’t be my first choice for directing an episode of an anthology horror show, especially considering the damage she wrought upon the vampire subgenre. Looking at her filmography, there’s nothing to indicate that…

We cannot let sympathy or altruism shield us from finding the truths of this world. Pickman’s Model is one of two H.P. Lovecraft adaptations coming this season on Cabinet of Curiosities, with Dreams in the…

True acceptance, harmony, peace, and divinity; all that stuff is a lie. We all just wanna be good-looking. We are first introduced to Stacey (Kate Micucci), awkwardly sway dancing to some generic jazz tune, wearing…

…This is one of those nightmare specials, the kind you never get to the bottom of. In this tertiary episode of Guillermo del Toro’s anthology show, we receive a terrifying answer to the age-old question:…

The second episode of Cabinet of Curiosities is a much sillier fare than its predecessor, and that’s not a bad thing. From its title, you can probably deduce the story’s main threats. Though naturally, the real…

Ah yes, God. Silent, strong type that loves to see us squirm with free will and other delusions. But what about his adversary, huh? What makes Guillermo del Toro such a fun director for me…

There’s an alternative universe where they never made a straight sequel to 1978’s Halloween. Instead, the franchise continued with John Carpenter’s original anthology concept. Every few years or so, we’d get another spooky story on…

I will always have a soft spot for Kevin Smith. Even if you aren’t fond of his dick jokes, any cineaste will admire his ascent as a filmmaker. He’s one of the great examples of…

A horror film with a political, or progressive bias, isn’t anything new, though according to many manbabies, this rigorous messaging is destroying modern horror cinema. So whenever a new Jordan Peele movie comes out, you’ll…

There once was a day when Beavis and Butt-Head, this innocuous and delightfully stupid cartoon, was highly controversial. For the moral crusaders in the early nineties, the popularity of this MTV-produced show (back in ancient…

There is something quintessential American about the story of Jerry and Marge Selbee, two retirees who exploited a loophole in the lottery system and made themselves rich. A story like this can only become truly…

Most musical biopics are forgettable, generic fare. They rarely resemble nothing more than a fond tribute to the artists, but as historical films or character studies, they are extremely lacking. They usually take a simplified…

Star-studded erotic thrillers have long been out of fashion. Perhaps this is due to the viewer being more desensitized to sexual content. The stuff you see on your regular HBO show is often far more…

Noa (Daisy Edgar-Jones) is trapped in the mundane loop of online dating. Any modern woman knows the procedure, the hours that are wasted on a guy who misrepresents himself and the occasional creep. The inane…

Don’t let its title fool you, 2022’s No Exit is not a modern adaptation of Sartre’s misanthropic play with the same name. It might open with a direct reference to the Myth of Sysiphus, but…

I’ve been a loyal apologist to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. I’ve even been compelled to write several retrospectives on the franchise, sharing my peculiar affection for the murderous on-screen antics of the Sawyer clan.…

I had a choice between writing a retrospective on David Lynch’s haunting Lost Highway, or this embarrassing 1992 comedy starring Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty. Every reasonable cineaste would naturally choose the former. One movie…

I’m probably writing this article prematurely. On my reading list, I have somewhere — beneath hundreds of other books I promised myself I would read one day — Kevin Farley’s supposedly touching memoir about his…

Ray Donovan was another product of the third revolution of television, a prime example of the “difficult man” trope. Its titular character was an unfaithful husband, a muscle for hire for either gangsters or corrupt…

Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time is not a conventional documentary, though that was the original intention. Its inception started nearly forty years ago, in 1982. Robert B. Weide had just finished a well-received PBS documentary…

Adding Bruce Campbell to your cast will automatically attract any genre enthusiast. The man is a legend, possibly one of the most charismatic men on the planet. A man so charismatic, I’m seriously considering watching…

If you want to see how far a movie franchise can change in tone, watch the original Rocky and then its third sequel, Rocky IV. You can see the evolution (or devolution, if you prefer)…

Red Notice is an action-comedy starring Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, and Gal Gadot — three people whose movies I generally avoid. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson might have definite star power but he has a track…

Thirty years ago we were treated to Wes Craven’s deliriously entertaining socially-conscious horror roller coaster, The People Under the Stairs. When we talk about Craven’s oeuvre, the usual suspects are mentioned: the exploitation classic, The…

To state the obvious, we never needed a sequel to the 1978 original Halloween. The essence of Michael Myers’ frightening presence, the murderous void that guides him and makes him known as The Shape, had…

Here it is. After so many delays, James Bond has finally returned to the big screen. This was going to be Daniel Craig’s swan song for the character, the man who once famously said he…

Due to the pandemic, a lot of people have ventured into the streaming abyss, picking up on shows they’ve never finished or starting shows that have been on their radar for quite some time. One…