I’ll be honest, I’m not a big fan of top ten lists. It’s the ideal format for nonsensical clickbait articles. But this topic had been on my mind for quite a while. Like many moviegoers,…
Chris van Dijk
Chris van Dijk
A thirty-something writer currently living in Poland. One day he dreams about writing, directing, and starring in his own movie. In order to stop it from becoming a snoozefest, he's planning to fill the screen with excessive nudity and gore. And chainsaw duels. Why not? Chris loves high-art cinema and pure unadulterated schlock. He can talk just as much about the brilliance of Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries as he can about Miami Connection. When he's not writing for MovieBabble, he's working on his own stories. These stories star a host of dysfunctional characters that in no way resemble his own fractured psyche. He hopes everyone will be good to each other. He rightly believes dogs are superior to humans, and that all dogs will go to heaven.
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AnalysisRetrospectives
The Lost World of Valkenvania: Celebrating Dan Aykroyd’s ‘Nothing but Trouble’
The 15th of February marked the 30th anniversary of Nothing but Trouble, which to date, is Dan Aykroyd’s only directorial feature. Hailed as both a critical and commercial flop at the time, I do have…
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Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for another Nicolas Cage vehicle. What’s it going to be this time? Is it going to be some forgettable VOD schlock like A Score to Settle? Or is he actually…
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Recently, we lost the great character actor Hall Holbrook, at the comfortable age of 95. Soon after, we lost the legendary Christopher Plummer, who managed to reach the age of 91 — not too shabby…
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Religious beliefs — or idolatry of any symbols whether it be godlike or commercial — have been essential to our species. Look beyond the philosophical aspect and toward the fantastical elements of certain beliefs that…
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ComedyReviews
‘Psycho Goreman’ Is a Hilarious Cinematic Treasure That Is Destined to Become a Cult Classic
Sometime in 2020, I saw a trailer for a movie in which two kids had control of a galactic monster. It looked deliciously bonkers. There was extensive gore, people’s heads were torn off through their spines;…
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The false promise that is the American Dream has been dissected over and over, by countless writers and filmmakers alike. Even so, as the illusionary powers of the American Dream evolve over time and the…
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ReviewsThriller
A Family of Trappers Encounter a Vicious Predator in the Unforgettable ‘Hunter Hunter’
This much-belated review could have been finished last week, considering the film came out on the 18th. But I’ll be honest, considering that Christmas was coming, I didn’t want to spend my time writing about…
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Sir Anthony Hopkins is a legend. The majesty of his onscreen presence is undeniable. With his voice and deep eyes, he automatically commands intellectual respect; unsurprisingly, he hasn’t been, or at least not to my…
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First things first: don’t expect me to say anything original about the third entry of The Godfather franchise. Far greater minds than myself have reiterated its numerous flaws, especially how it pales in comparison to…
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HorrorReviews
Bret Easton Ellis and Crispin Glover Team Up for the Painfully Dull ‘Smiley Face Killers’
Bret Easton Ellis was just twenty-one years old when he published his first novel: Less Than Zero. Success followed, and with the publication of the highly controversial third novel, American Psycho, came fame. As an…
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The horror genre is a good starting point for an aspiring filmmaker. From a financial standpoint, you will likely attract more investors if your low-budget film happens to be a horror film. Most of them…
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Fatman is an R-rated action movie starring Mel Gibson as Santa Claus… I can already feel many people shaking their heads. But, if you’re more like me, you might think this has the potential to…
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Admittedly, the sole reason I was interested in watching The Pale Door was that Joe R. Lansdale’s name was on the poster. If you’ve never heard of him, stop reading and check out some of…
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The original Tales from the Hood from 1995 was an enjoyable mixture of horror schlock and social commentary, emulating the spirit of the classic HBO TV series, Tales from the Crypt, with its whimsical attitude…
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“Cronenbergian” pertains to the twisted works of filmmaker David Cronenberg, specifically his graphic depictions of bodily mutations. A film scholar might take offense at this simplification, referencing his common themes of sexuality, the morphing of…
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HorrorReviews
‘Death of Me’ Is a Waste of Time for the Audience, But a Nice Paid Vacation for the Cast and Crew
It’s not easy being a horror buff in 2020. By now, a lot of intriguing horror films should have already come out: from Spiral, the new Saw movie starring Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson;…
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The world has changed a lot since the characters of Bill and Ted first hit the big screen. Bill and Ted, if you don’t know, are two loveable Californian simpletons who were prophesied to one…
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If you’re as obsessed with true crime stories as I am, you know the frightening concept of regular people suddenly turning homicidal. In some cases, we could have seen it coming. A past riddled with…
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ReviewsThriller
‘The Big Ugly’ is a Surprisingly Gentle, Character-driven Thriller Starring Vinnie Jones
A mob enforcer with a troubled conscience, a crime boss who wants to go legit, and an oilman with a fatalistic code of honor. These are the three main players of Scott Wiper’s The Big…
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The American dream has destroyed a lot of people. Sometimes one person’s dream comes at the expense of others. Other times, a dream required too many sacrifices, leading to spiritual decay or a short lifespan.…
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As a filmmaker, Josh Trank is less famous for his body of work than for his public persona. It all started with the modestly budgeted, Chronicle. Told via a found-footage narrative, it entailed the story…
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Get In opens with a black man being manhandled by the police on his own front porch. A freakishly prescient scene, as there’s never a shortage of news concerning police brutality against minorities. For many,…
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DramaReviews
‘Driveways’ is One of the Best Films of the Year and a Wonderful Farewell to the Late Great Brian Dennehy
On April 15th, 2020, we lost the great Brian Dennehy. It goes without saying that, as an actor, he left behind a great legacy. As with many people, the first time I noticed him was…
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Days before the release of Bad Trip, I had discovered the wonderful stupidity of The Eric André Show. It’s a baffling show, not just hilarious, but sometimes eerily surreal. It’s not a show that wants you…
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Clark Duke has made a sizeable living being the dependable comic relief. He was the one who traveled to the fictional eighties alongside John Cusack in Hot Tub Time Machine; he was the nerdy sidekick…
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Netflix ComedyNetflix Reviews
‘Coffee & Kareem’ Will Quietly Fade Off into Buddy Cop Movie Obscurity
The buddy cop genre came to prominence in the eighties. We all know the clichés: two guys with opposite character traits, butting heads, and learning to respect each through a hail of gunfire. The genre…
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On paper, The Hunt didn’t seem to offer anything new. The initial premise calls back to the 1924’s short story, The Most Dangerous Game, which has been adapted numerous times — most notably, of course,…
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It might sound ridiculous to some, but so be it: VFW was one of my most anticipated films of the year. It started with the premise: a siege-style thriller with a group of aging veterans…
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We don’t need to see eye to eye, we just have to remain respectful. This virtue is understood by most children, but it seems lost in American political discourse. It’s disheartening seeing people cheer for…