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Author

Chris van Dijk

Chris van Dijk

A thirty-something writer currently living in Poland. One day he dreams about writing, directing, and starring in his own movie. In order to stop it from becoming a snoozefest, he's planning to fill the screen with excessive nudity and gore. And chainsaw duels. Why not? Chris loves high-art cinema and pure unadulterated schlock. He can talk just as much about the brilliance of Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries as he can about Miami Connection. When he's not writing for MovieBabble, he's working on his own stories. These stories star a host of dysfunctional characters that in no way resemble his own fractured psyche. He hopes everyone will be good to each other. He rightly believes dogs are superior to humans, and that all dogs will go to heaven.

  • ReviewsScience Fiction

    Brandon Cronenberg Makes His Daddy Proud with ‘Possessor’

    by Chris van Dijk October 7, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk October 7, 2020

    “Cronenbergian” pertains to the twisted works of filmmaker David Cronenberg, specifically his graphic depictions of bodily mutations. A film scholar might take offense at this simplification, referencing his common themes of sexuality, the morphing of …

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  • HorrorReviews

    ‘Death of Me’ Is a Waste of Time for the Audience, But a Nice Paid Vacation for the Cast and Crew

    by Chris van Dijk October 6, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk October 6, 2020

    It’s not easy being a horror buff in 2020. By now, a lot of intriguing horror films should have already come out: from Spiral, the new Saw movie starring Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson; …

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  • ComedyReviews

    ‘Bill and Ted Face the Music’ is Proof the World Isn’t Such a Bad Place After All!

    by Chris van Dijk September 1, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk September 1, 2020

    The world has changed a lot since the characters of Bill and Ted first hit the big screen. Bill and Ted, if you don’t know, are two loveable Californian simpletons who were prophesied to one …

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  • ReviewsThriller

    Russell Crowe is on a Murderous Rampage in the Highly Entertaining ‘Unhinged’

    by Chris van Dijk August 26, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk August 26, 2020

    If you’re as obsessed with true crime stories as I am, you know the frightening concept of regular people suddenly turning homicidal. In some cases, we could have seen it coming. A past riddled with …

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  • ReviewsThriller

    ‘The Big Ugly’ is a Surprisingly Gentle, Character-driven Thriller Starring Vinnie Jones

    by Chris van Dijk August 2, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk August 2, 2020

    A mob enforcer with a troubled conscience, a crime boss who wants to go legit, and an oilman with a fatalistic code of honor. These are the three main players of Scott Wiper’s The Big …

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  • DramaReviews

    ‘Mope’ is Schadenfreudian Fun…Until It Isn’t

    by Chris van Dijk June 30, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk June 30, 2020

    The American dream has destroyed a lot of people. Sometimes one person’s dream comes at the expense of others. Other times, a dream required too many sacrifices, leading to spiritual decay or a short lifespan. …

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  • DramaReviews

    Tom Hardy Chews the Scenery (and a Carrot) in Josh Trank’s ‘Capone’

    by Chris van Dijk May 18, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk May 18, 2020

    As a filmmaker, Josh Trank is less famous for his body of work than for his public persona. It all started with the modestly budgeted, Chronicle. Told via a found-footage narrative, it entailed the story …

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  • Streaming HorrorStreaming Reviews

    ‘Get In’ is a Vicious Descent into Inevitable Violence

    by Chris van Dijk May 14, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk May 14, 2020

    Get In opens with a black man being manhandled by the police on his own front porch. A freakishly prescient scene, as there’s never a shortage of news concerning police brutality against minorities. For many, …

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  • DramaReviews

    ‘Driveways’ is One of the Best Films of the Year and a Wonderful Farewell to the Late Great Brian Dennehy

    by Chris van Dijk May 7, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk May 7, 2020

    On April 15th, 2020, we lost the great Brian Dennehy. It goes without saying that, as an actor, he left behind a great legacy. As with many people, the first time I noticed him was …

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  • ComedyReviews

    ‘Bad Trip’ is Exactly as Advertised: a Stupid, Good Time

    by Chris van Dijk May 6, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk May 6, 2020

    Days before the release of Bad Trip, I had discovered the wonderful stupidity of The Eric André Show. It’s a baffling show, not just hilarious, but sometimes eerily surreal. It’s not a show that wants you …

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  • ReviewsThriller

    ‘Arkansas’ is a Wonderful Slice of Hangout Noir

    by Chris van Dijk May 4, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk May 4, 2020

    Clark Duke has made a sizeable living being the dependable comic relief. He was the one who traveled to the fictional eighties alongside John Cusack in Hot Tub Time Machine; he was the nerdy sidekick …

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  • Streaming ComedyStreaming Reviews

    ‘Coffee & Kareem’ Will Quietly Fade Off into Buddy Cop Movie Obscurity

    by Chris van Dijk April 11, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk April 11, 2020

    The buddy cop genre came to prominence in the eighties. We all know the clichés: two guys with opposite character traits, butting heads, and learning to respect each through a hail of gunfire. The genre …

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  • ReviewsThriller

    ‘The Hunt’ is a Decent Watch, but Not Much to Think About

    by Chris van Dijk April 1, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk April 1, 2020

    On paper, The Hunt didn’t seem to offer anything new. The initial premise calls back to the 1924’s short story, The Most Dangerous Game, which has been adapted numerous times — most notably, of course, …

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  • Action/AdventureReviews

    ‘VFW’ Honors Both Veterans and Genre Lovers

    by Chris van Dijk March 14, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk March 14, 2020

    It might sound ridiculous to some, but so be it: VFW was one of my most anticipated films of the year. It started with the premise: a siege-style thriller with a group of aging veterans …

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  • DramaReviews

    ‘Saint Frances’ is the Kind of Film We Need Right Now

    by Chris van Dijk March 6, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk March 6, 2020

    We don’t need to see eye to eye, we just have to remain respectful. This virtue is understood by most children, but it seems lost in American political discourse. It’s disheartening seeing people cheer for …

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  • Streaming ReviewsStreaming Thriller

    ‘The Last Thing He Wanted’ is an Unfocused Mess with Its Heart in the Right Place

    by Chris van Dijk March 2, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk March 2, 2020

    The Iran-Contra affair is just one of the many dark elements of Reagan’s presidency. While The Gipper’s supporters perceived him as a warm and benevolent figure, his presidential reign was merciless on unions, the LGBTQ community, HIV-sufferers, or …

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  • ComedyReviews

    ‘The Jesus Rolls’ is ‘The Big Lebowski’ Spin-off You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

    by Chris van Dijk February 12, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk February 12, 2020

    Like my fellow ordained Dudeist Ministers out there, I’ve seen The Big Lebowski countless times. It’s a film that not only became increasingly entertaining after each consecutive viewing, but its underlying message also became of great philosophical and spiritual …

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  • ReviewsThriller

    ‘Come to Daddy’ is a Cult Classic in the Making

    by Chris van Dijk February 11, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk February 11, 2020

    Elijah Wood will most likely be remembered as Frodo Baggins, the kind-hearted and heroic hobbit who struggled through the corrupting powers of Sauron’s Ring. But his acting career besides his middle-earth ventures should be not …

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  • HorrorReviews

    ‘Color Out of Space’ is a Psychedelic Frightfest That Does Justice to the Works of H.P. Lovecraft

    by Chris van Dijk February 1, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk February 1, 2020

    The literature of H.P. Lovecraft has had a significant influence on cinema, though surprisingly, there haven’t been many straight adaptations of his stories. Instead, many films are loosely based or inspired by his work. The …

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  • Action/AdventureReviews

    ‘Disturbing the Peace’ is So Bad, It Makes Me Re-examine My Life Choices

    by Chris van Dijk January 27, 2020
    by Chris van Dijk January 27, 2020

    When I saw Disturbing the Peace on a list of upcoming movies, I thought it was going to be an adaptation of Richard Yates’ titular novel. The ending of the novel was particularly haunting. I always …

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  • ReviewsThriller

    Rian Johnson Returns to Form with the Wickedly Thrilling and Funny ‘Knives Out’

    by Chris van Dijk December 1, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk December 1, 2019

    The poster of Knives Out is enough to make any cineaste salivate. An ensemble cast featuring the likes of Jamie Lee Curtis, Don Johnson, Michael Shannon, Toni Collette, and Christopher Plummer? Not to mention also …

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  • Streaming DramaStreaming Reviews

    ‘The Irishman’ is an Astonishing, Tragic Epic from Martin Scorsese

    by Chris van Dijk November 24, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk November 24, 2019

    When it comes to movies, it’s been a particularly good year for me. I don’t expect to come across another year quite like it any time soon. The magic started at the end of May …

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  • Streaming ComedyStreaming DramaStreaming Reviews

    ‘The Laundromat’ is An Important Film that Struggles to Do Its Subject Matter Justice

    by Chris van Dijk November 3, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk November 3, 2019

    Whichever side of the political spectrum you reside on, the unequal distribution of wealth should concern you. But the solution to this is anything but clearcut. Sometimes it seems that the ultimate answer to this …

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  • HorrorReviews

    ‘Wounds’ is Likely the Most Fascinating and Frustrating Horror Movie You’ll Watch this Year

    by Chris van Dijk November 1, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk November 1, 2019

    Wounds has been on my watchlist ever since I read the early reviews. It could have been the mysterious and vague premise: creepy and gross things transpire after a bartender (played by the hunky Armie …

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  • Streaming ComedyStreaming Reviews

    ‘Dolemite Is My Name’ is the Return of the Eddie Murphy We Know and Love

    by Chris van Dijk October 28, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk October 28, 2019

    Eddie Murphy is a comedy legend whose greatness is often spoken about in the past tense. A comedic descendant from the likes of Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx, he kickstarted his cinematic career with the …

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  • Action/AdventureReviews

    The Madness of Crispin Glover Cannot Save ‘Lucky Day’

    by Chris van Dijk October 27, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk October 27, 2019

    Here’s the premise: a psychotic hitman goes on an ultra-violent odyssey to avenge his brother’s death. Does this sound intriguing to you? Not really? Well, that’s because I forgot to mention that this hitman is …

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  • HorrorReviews

    For the Love of God, Do Not Waste Your Time with ‘Mary’

    by Chris van Dijk October 22, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk October 22, 2019

    You might not believe this, but there used to be a time when a movie starring either Nicolas Cage or Gary Oldman would be an indicator of high quality. This seems like such a long …

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  • DramaReviews

    ‘Cuck’ is Another Loner Film Done Wrong…Very Wrong

    by Chris van Dijk October 16, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk October 16, 2019

    I’ll be honest, my reasons for seeing Cuck were partly masochistic. I wanted to find out if this film was as bad as it appeared to be. Many people are mocking this film, and it’s …

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  • HorrorReviews

    For Horror Fans, ‘3 from Hell’ is The Biggest Disappointment of the Year

    by Chris van Dijk October 11, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk October 11, 2019

    Rob Zombie’s filmography has always been an acquired taste, even among horror fanatics. Rob Zombie’s cinematic hallmarks include the seventies’ grindhouse aesthetics; profanity-laden rednecks with an excessive amount of nudity and gore; and the inevitable …

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  • DramaReviews

    ‘Loro’ is a Dazzling Portrayal of Political Corruption

    by Chris van Dijk October 1, 2019
    by Chris van Dijk October 1, 2019

    My introduction to Paolo Sorrentino’s wondrous style of filmmaking was with the first season of The Young Pope, a show that, despite much critical acclaim, became the subject of much ridicule in social media and …

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